Drinking Rules

Even people who drink a lot should have standards. We've compiled a list for you to follow.

Rules for Drinking:

1. When you're on a date, never order a coke and anything. Try a real drink.
2. When drinking cheap whiskey at a party, share it out of the bottle. It's a great way to meet people.
3. Mixed shots are a waste of time.
4. If you need a chaser, you shouldn't be taking shots.
5. Never drink and take amphetamines.
6. PBR is not ironic; it tastes like piss.
7. But if they're selling it for $1, have no shame.
8. Until you're out of college, your wine doesn't have to be pretentious.
9. Peppermint schnapps do not belong in your liquor cabinet.
10. When having guests over, get more than you think you'll need. It always runs out.
11. Hide your cab money somewhere (your bra, sock, etc.) so that you don't spend it on booze.
12. Beer before liquor, never been sicker--except when you're not.
13. Liquor before beer, you're in the clear--except when you're not.
14. Margaritas are good in the summer. They're better for your soul in the winter.
15. It's okay if you don't know what's in your cocktail. But you'll look less stupid later if you do.
16. While staying after hours at a bar makes for a good story, it usually leads to trouble.
17. Puking does not mean that you can go back for more.
18. Not drinking before five is a good rule, but it's flexible.
19. An open bar does not mean that you get to puke in the corner. It's impolite.
20. Drinking when you wake up is a sign of addiction. Going to class drunk from the night before is a sign of a good time.


Of course, I could tell you that rules are made to be broken, and that you can do what you want. But we will judge you.